I am the class nerd. I am the people pleaser. I am the eager beaver over achiever and this lock down has been hard. I’ve always felt I can do more, be more, achieve more- all around just make better use of the 24 hrs I now have been given.

And I see the posts about how it’s okay to not be okay and how no one expects us all to learn a new language, develop a new skill and keep a perfect home; but somehow I just can’t let that apply to me.

And in this lonely, lonely time it’s making me quite crazy. I say it’s lonely, because even though you might be( and I am) surrounded by the most incredible people and are loved- you have way too much time too think in the gaps of silence- of which there are many.

So I am learning Spanish, finishing my second computer course and finding new means to clean that cleaning companies are still unaware of!

And I can’t wait to get back… to a new normal, to an old normal… to any thing resembling a ‘normal.’.

Things I’ve learnt…(beyond Spanish, python , C etc).

1. I need people… even the ones who are just acquaintances – the loud ones, the annoying ones, the needy ones and the ones I should’ve blocked. I need all of them! You make life colourful and I’m not crazy about the black and white life I’m in! So let’s bug the hell out of each other!
2. I love plans… every day I have a new day plan and I love achieving it! Guess Nerdy Divya is still alive and thriving!
3. I can still learn… I love learning new things, listening to lectures, trying and achieving new stuff! I love it!
4. I hate the display pics people put up on Zoom / Skype! I need to see you rolling your eyes/ smiling or even yawning! I miss seeing expressions of people!
5. The lockdown has been bad on my back. My house was not equipped for #WFH and it’s far too comfortable so trying to get the angle just right on work calls I have thrown my back far too often!
6. I need to do a day/ two like this every month. I have catalogued my belongings and found everything or almost everything that can be discarded in my home and done a spring cleaning in summer! This must become a monthly thing!
7. I love sanitiser… I have an almost unhealthy obsession with the darn thing… Needless to say the house is sanitised daily, as are our clothes, kitchen counters, hands and anything I lay my sights on!
8. I am bad at naming pets…With the lockdown we’ve taken to feeding stray dogs and cats daily and since I can’t really name puppies , except my own well… I give them the first name that comes to mind- so we have Pinky( a girl dog who has been sleeping on Pink clay); Flocky( friends with the neighbourhood ruffian Rocky); Boti(friends with the chaiwallahs dog Moti) and the Helicopters( two old dogs who rush to me with their tails going round like propellers).
9. I can’t document my day or my food on Instagram! Instagram for me is about memories and moments that I never want to forget and as much as the paneer makhani that I made today was Insta worthy, today’s not a time I want to remember. I want to move on. And I hope this happens soon!

As India readies for #Lockdown4.0 , I wonder , even when we get back how long it’s going to take for us to truly be back.

This time has made me truly value family, a home, support and love. I have been more honest with myself at this time and with others and I’m happy I’ve been able to and allowed to.

We will be back and I know #Divya2.0 will be a different version, but I know when I get out into the city for work or go one my first vacation, I’ll see it differently- fresher and with a lot more respect.

P.s.(Palat says)-:We’re each dealing with the lockdown differently and there’s no right/ wrong way. It’s important though to allow ourselves a break and be less critical of who we are…